The big shakeup - Unedited

The world stood at the edge of the cliff in Q4 2008. I remember that day, we were driving back from North Caroline after a bad loss in the playoffs, although I had a decent day with the ball. We were lucky to have Sirius in our rental car, when we happened to switch on to Fox radio, it was blasting about Lehman brothers. Big banks were brought down to its knees, it was hard to imagine all the speculation and all the half hearted appeal by the president of the companies that everything will be okay. Well in hindsight it wasn't.
How I wish things were different. Life is tough! There is this perennial doubt about the future. Don't know when will the next big nuke fall and then you need to rethink your plan of action in life. Darn those 5 year and 10 year plans, if the plan survives a year, you need to be grateful.
I stand by the embers of the bridges that are glowing behind me. How I wish that bridge never burnt! How I wish I could walk that path back, enjoy the humor, the care free life!
And now wait, I seem to live a cyclic life, its a heterogeneous mixture that I want. The luxuries of the life that I have right now and the carefree life that I led with all those hopes and dreams. Sitting around those stalls and talking about those dreams. I was sick of the stereotype and wanted change. I got the change only to discover a new stereotype. Now, I am sick of the new stereotype. I feel like my quest for that something has not ended, I only wish I knew what that something was. It is like searching for the pot of gold that is promised to me in neverland.
No matter what, I have had a good life. I live life today on what I earned yesterday, only to keep working for a better tomorrow.
I am not sure if this plan entails in working for a better world for everyone or just me/us! I guess that is the first SOMETHING i need to figure out. Oh well! you never know! This doubt gives you a sneak preview into my mind of indecision! Do you want blue or do you want red pill. That question will kill me, not because its my destiny, but because I will spend all my time figuring out and weighing the positives and negatives.